


Home

by Dusklight1



Series: Young Gods [1]
Category: Celtic Mythology, Greek and Roman Mythology, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Irish Mythology, Norse Mythology, Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: AU, AU as Hell, Angst, As does Minerva, As for the godly stuff:, Book 1: Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, But do they get a break?, Demigod Harry, Gen, Good Loki, Good Malfoy Family, Good Severus, Good Slytherins, Good Walburga, Gryffindor Draco Malfoy, He isn't trying to be a douche, Hufflepuff Neville Longbottom, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Like, Loki Needs a Hug, M/M, Manipulative Dumbledore, Noooo, Odin is no less of a douche than he has ever been depicted, Odin using his go to punishment, Odin's A+ Parenting, Other Demigods - Freeform, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Powerful Harry, Ravenclaw Hermione Granger, Sirius Needs a Hug, Slytherin Harry, The Irish and Celtic Pantheons just do it for shits and giggles, There is no Percy and Co. for they have not yet been born, They're the weird part of the family that nobody talks about, Thor Is Not Stupid, Zeus being a copycat, Zeus is a bit less of a jerk than in PJO canon, and aesir, and on that note, and person in general, back on a Hogwarts note:, but - Freeform, from these troublesome children, he needs a break, he's succeeding, ish, lots of em - Freeform, odin is a terrible father, oh yeah, poor severus, the no-contact policy is essentially abolished
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-12 08:07:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9063538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dusklight1/pseuds/Dusklight1
Summary: What they don't know is that he has his mother's hair, and his father's eyes.-Or, sometimes, when the gods get bored, they take mortal form. That or they're being punished by someone a bit stronger *Cough, Zeus, Odin*. Well...in the sixties there was a minor rebellion among the deities, Odin and Zeus crushed that shit, and decided if the gods were going to act like petty mortals, they would be petty mortals. And then a couple of the Irish and Celtic deities decided mortality would be fun and popped down too. And now look at the twisted mess they've caused.





	1. I've finally found a place of my own, where I belong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter wherein Harry meets Draco, gets a severe static shock, figures out that one cannot in fact argue with a magical talking hat that can read your mind, and has a full stomach for the first time he can remember. Also the chapter wherein Draco pisses off the hat, and Hermione and Neville argue about whether or not the Giant Squid is lethal.

_" Is my imagination running away?_

_Or is all of this really happening to me?_

_Am I a Prince in a faraway land filled with fantasy?"_

* * *

 

As soon as he's alone in the train car he can't help himself-he squeals. He runs his bony hands along the soft leather seats, presses his face up to the window to look at the people outside, kicks his feet excitedly, and squeals some more. He is going to a _school of magic! Magic is real!!_ And maybe, just maybe, he isn't a freak! This is the best. Day. Ever!!

" Hi, do you mind if I sit here? I can't find any of my friends, and the upper years are being berks. Oh, and my name is Draco!," a tall blonde boy with slightly mussed hair rushes out.

" Uhm, s-sure," Harry stammers, a bit blindsided by this boy's enthusiasm.

" Great! Oh, and what's your name, you didn't say!," Draco says, reaching out his hand to shake, which Harry does.

" I'm Harr-ouch! You shocked me!," the smaller boy yelps, looking surprised.

" Oh, uh, that happens a lot. Nobody knows why," Draco replies, blushing.

" No, it's fine. I've had worse, trust me," Harry assures him.

Thus starts a beautiful friendship, one cemented in chocolate frogs and daring forays into taste-testing Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans.

* * *

" The boat will be fine, I assure you."

" B-but what if it tips?"

" Can you swim?"

" Well, y-yeah, bu-"

" Then you'll be fine, Neville."

" But the _squid-_ "

" Is perfectly harmless, I'm sure. Why would they keep a deadly, or even dangerous animal in a school full of children? That's simply preposterous, Professor Dumbledore would never allow it!"

At that moment, Albus Dumbledore feels a chill down his spine. He ignores it in favor of a lemon sherbet. Back on the boats, one Hermione Granger continues to argue with one Neville Longbottom over the safety of sailing across the lake. In a neighboring boat, Harry and Draco discuss what Houses they'll end up in.

" Pretty much every one in my family has been in Slytherin, but they all think I'll be in Gryffindor. Apparently I'm 'pig-headed."

" You don't look like a pig..?"

" Exactly! And I bet I could totally get into Slytherin. Probably. Maybe."

" Do you want to?"

" Huh?"

" Do you _want_ to be in Slytherin?"

" Y-yes?"

"..."

* * *

 " Granger, Hermione!" 

She tries to mask her anxiety, but she knows it must be a futile effort. Never before has she been so overwhelmed with nerves. It's no use though; she can feel her legs shaking as she walks up to the stool. She tugs the hat onto her unruly curls quickly wanting this to be over with.

_' Hello Miss Grang-Another one?! Really?!?'_

_' You read MINDS?!'_

_' It's how I sort you. And speaking of sorting, I know just where to put you. You seek knowledge for knowledge's sake, but wants help others with that knowledge. Speaking of others, stick with that Longbottom boy, in the House of the Raven, you'll need a true friend.'_

_' But-'_

_' Oh no, I have had enough arguing and we're only on G, DAMNIT!'_

_" RAVENCLAW!"_

* * *

" Longbottom, Neville!"

Neville is so nervous he's shaking. He barely manages to make it to the stool, and breathes a quiet sigh of relief when the hat drops over his eyes.

_' Great Merlin how many of you are there!?'_

_' Sir?'_

_' I am not a sir I am a hat! And anyways, let's see, lots of courage, a will to survive, a thirst to prove yourself,  loyalty beyond measure...you could fit with the Lions, the Snakes, or the Badgers. And yet, in the other houses, you would face hardship, and your flower might bloom too late.'_

_' Huh?'_

_" HUFFLEPUFF!!"_

* * *

" Malfoy, Draconis!"

Severus buries his face in his hands as his godson practically skips to the stool. Minerva looks on faintly amused, and places the hat on the boy's blond head.

' _Hi!'_

_' AAAAAUUUUGH!'_

_' Ouch, that hurt! Why'd you do that!?'_

_' I've been electrocuted, that's why!'_

_' Heh, sorry about that. It happens-'_

_' Frequently, I can see that. You're as bad as your brother, what, twenty some odd years ago. He froze me. The nerve.'_

_' I don't have a brother.'_

_' Never mind...'_

_' So, I'm in Slytherin, right?'_

_' You have as much subtlety as a flaming peacock dancing an Irish jig and singing Hava Nagila. No.'_

_' Wouldn't a flaming peacock just be screaming? Can they scream? Can they sing? Ooh, can they_ dance _? Father has albino peacocks, you know. Ooh, I should teach them to-'_

_' Oh for the love of the gods-'_

_" GRYFFINDOR!!!"_

_"_ Surely that isn't righ-"

_" I HAVE MADE NO MISTAKE!!!!"_

* * *

"Potter, Harry!"

 The little balloon of excitement in his chest suffers a puncture. What if the hat says there's been a mistake, that he isn't a good enough wizard, that he won't fit into any House and he should just go home? What if it tells everyone he's a freak!?

' _I should have expected it. Alright then, on to business. Child, why_ are _you so afraid? I can't tell anyone your secrets you know.'_

_' Y-you can't?'_

_' No I cannot.'_

_' Oh..'_

_' Well, I can tell them one thing I find out in that unruly head of yours; what House you belong in. Now, let's see..you are fairly similar to another young boy I once sorted, hurt, lonely, desperate for approval. You have a burning a,notion, to rise above your circumstances, and the cunning to survive. And wit is there, too, but you don't learn for learning's sake, do you? No, you learn so you can survive. Knowledge is power after all...'_

_' Um, excuse me?'_

 ' _Yes, what?'_

_' Can I go to Gryffindor? With Draco?'_

_' I'm afraid I can't negotiate. You should go where you will flourish, as a student and a person. Young Heir Malloy will still be your friend, even should you be sorted elsewhere. On another note, right there you've exemplified loyalty, though you aren't loyal to many, are you? As for bravery, you've survived to this point, and that's an act of courage in and of itself no doubt. However, I think...yes, yes. You'll do best there, not just you but others. Yes, I've decided. Better be..'_

_' SLYTHERIN!!"_

Utter silence. And then, from the Gryffindor table, a loud explosion of clapping. All from one particularly static afflicted blonde.

" WOO!! CONGRATULATIONS HARRY!!"

" Thanks Draco!," Harry hollers back, after a moment of shock.

This seems to release the rest of the great hall from a spell, and Slytherin releases a loud clangor of yells and claps and cheers, while the other houses clap much more quietly and somewhat hesitantly. Harry ignores that, and walks swiftly to his table, a small grin on his face. A girl with golden blond hair makes a space for him, and he sits between her and a curly headed boy gratefully.

" I am Greengrass, Daphne Greengrass," the girl introduces, holding out her hand which he awkwardly shakes.

" And I am Nott, Theodore Nott. But you can call me Theo," the boy says, his small smile a slash of white in his dark face.

Harry can't help returning it, though he notices movement out of corner of his eye; there, he sees Draco waving at him and giving him two thumbs up. Harry returns it.  


	2. Home is wherever I'm with You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry-and-Draco meet Hermione-and-Neville, and become Harry-Draco-Hermione-and-Neville, Severus and Minerva have a pity party together, and Albus dishes out House Points with abandon. Oh, and Quirell's there too, trying to be sneaky-sneaky.

_" Man, oh, man, you're my best friend_

_I scream it to the nothingness_

_With you there ain't nothing that I need."_

* * *

 Waking up in a plush bed with his arms and legs akimbo is definitely something Harry can get used to; and, he realizes with a steadily building elation, he _will,_ because he's going to be waking up the same way for _the next six months!_ By the time he's made it to breakfast, he's practically vibrating with excitement, and when Draco flops beside Harry at the table Daphne points out that,' _If you don't stop shaking, Potter, you're going to fall out of your seat.'_ Theo just tells him to ' _Shtop bein sho happeh, itsh mornin'._ Of course, when a large eagle owl swoops down to land before Draco, stretching out imperious talons in which a letter are gripped tightly, the mood goes from joyful to somber, on account of Draco's suddenly emotionless face.

" Uh-oh," Harry mumbles.

" From my parents?," Draco asks, not daring to look.

" Yep."

" Red ink?"

" Most likely," Theo pops in down the way

" Bring it on."

With that, Draco feeds the owl some rashers, snags the letter, pulls out a penknife from his robe and mutters,' _booyah',_ before viciously cutting the letter open.

* * *

 When Harry first met Draco,( _which was yesterday but_ **still** ), he had no idea that the other boy was so _whiny._

 _"-_ and _honestly,_ they _expected it!?_ The _nerve!_ Oh, oh, and y'know what _else_ they said!? They said, and I quote,' _Draco darling there was nowhere else you could have gone, you lack the work ethic for Hufflepuff-thank the Gods-, the-,'_ and here I can tell they'd smudged something out!-' _desire to learn necessary for a Ravenclaw, and despite your ambition you have all the subtlety of a sledgehammer so Slytherin was out too. Never fear, your father and I still love you. Hugs and kisses, Mother."_

The parts of his speech wherein he imitates his mother are said in such a ridiculous falsetto that Harry can't help snickering a bit at his friend's expense. Meanwhile, Draco carries on about the indignity and injustice heaped upon him with the same unrelenting- _whiny-_ fervor he'd begun with. Harry is grateful when two other students start walking towards them, hoping Draco will stop when others are near.

 _"-_ I mean, they practically called me _stupid!!!_ And of a _sledgehammer,_ piss and vinegar! I've got the subtlety of a bent fork at _least!_ And _lazy,_ can you believe they called me _lazy!?_ Merlin, what _has_ the world come to-"

Apparently not. 

" Hello, yes did you need something?," Harry just about cries.

He hopes his desperation isn't too obvious.

" Well, yes, actually, Neville was-"

The girl he addressed suddenly cuts off when the chubby boy next to her elbows her rather soundly in the gut- _Neville,_ Harry thinks.

" Neville _and I,_ were wondering if your friend there is ok. We could hear him from about twenty meters away," The girl finishes, shooting a glare at her benevolently smiling companion.

 _"_ Oh, he's fine, just a little upset-"

" _UPSET!? I'M FURIOUS, THANKS FOR NOTICING-"_

 _"-_ That not only are his parents ok with him being in Gryffindor, they were completely expecting it. Said they couldn't see him going anywhere else, in fact-"

_"-they called me WITLESS-"_

" They did not call you witless, Dray. They only said-"

_"-no desire to learn combined with subtlety of a sledgehammer SCREAMS witless to me-"_

_"_ The only one screaming here is you," the girl points out, bringing Draco to a screeching( _or rather lack thereof)_ halt.

And then, he laughs. Harry couldn't help sighing in relief, tension melting away from him as Draco's incessant screaming finally abates. 

" You've got a point there, erm, what's your name? Didn't catch it. Oh, I'm Malfoy, Draco Malfoy, Scion of that House, yada yada."

" Bond, James Bond."

" Huh?," Draco replies, looking lost.

" James Bond is a secret agent in a series of muggle films. He introduces himself the way you do, but without the Scion part," Harry explains.

" A whosey in a what-now?"

" Never mind..."

" Anyways, the reason _I_ introduce myself that way is because that's proper etiquette and what not. You're supposed to introduce yourself as ' House name, first name last name, title if you have one.' Oi, Longbottom, introduce yourself to Harry so they can see what I mean."

" Uh, ok? I-I am Longbottom, Neville Longbottom, Heir of that House."

" See, that's it!"

And with that, the girl,( _who has introduced herself as ' Granger, Hermione Granger, Scion of that House')_ , begins plying Draco with questions about Wizarding etiquette. In the mean time, Neville and Harry begin making tentative overtures to each other, culminating in one question minutes later;

" D-do you want to be f-friends?"

" I'd love to," Harry breathes out in awe.

Despite the rough start, Harry is having the best day ever. Because by the end of it, Harry had not one, not two, but _three_ best friends.

* * *

Severus Snape is having the _worst day ever._ Today, he had double potions with the _devil twins._ The little monsters delighted themselves by tossing ingredients into the cauldrons of others, casting spells that made others only able to speak in rhyme, and turning people different colors. It has only been four hours since he first rose from slumber, and already he hates everyone and everything.

\--

That was a lie. This morning, Severus clearly didn't anticipate the sheer _stupidity_ that would plague all of his students, and therefore only _now_ does he _truly_ hate everyone and everything. So many cauldrons were _ruined,_ all because of the towering ineptitude displayed in his classroom, ineptitude so great that most of the first years failed to brew a remotely passable _boil cure._ Oh the _humanity._ He hears the portrait door of his quarters swing open and wants to cry because it's _seven in the evening and he should be free just leave him alo-_ vodka?

" That's for me, yes?"

" Only if you explain to me your abysmal mood."

" They are all so _stupid_ Minerva! So _stupid._

" Severus, that's very uncharitable of you. I'm sure not _all_ of them were stupid. And at least none of your students managed to burn off their own eyebrows with a _transfiguration spell._  For the love of Merlin, the spell wasn't even remotely _pronounced_ like one related to fire, but he still caused a miniature inferno!"

" Oh, I think I know the student you're talking about. Finnigan _shattered_ his cauldron by somehow _exploding_ his boil cure, and not only exploding the damn thing but causing it to do the opposite of what was intended!! I had to send the majority of my Gryffindor-Slytherin first year class to the infirmary! The only ones who escaped were those in the far left corner, Potter, and Draco! And thats not all! The residue of the toxic morass Finnegan tried to pass off as a potion  _ate the bloody table!_ "

" Sounds eventful."

" Indeed. So, what shall we toast to?"

" Toast?"

" We are drinking rather fine alcohol, its kind of a must..we could toast to catnip if you'd like?"

" Careful, or I might spike your vodka with holy water next time, or maybe garlic."

" So friendly, you are."

" Indeed."

* * *

 

" Yes mast-AUUUGH! Oh, h-h-h-h-hello, y-you st-startled me. Did y-you n-n-need someth-thing?"

" Not particularly Quirinus! Though I would not be adverse to a chat! Oh, lemon sherbet?"

" I'm allergic."

" A pity, that. Oh well, more for me!"

" Y-yes, w-w-well, I-I r-r-r-really must be g-goin-"

" Oh would you look at that! Such a fine display of inter-House cooperation! Fifty points to Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff!"

" _Fifty!?"_

" Is that a  _problem?_

" N-n-no, s-sir."

" Wonderful!"

And with that, the batty headmaster and possessed professor leave the Restricted Section of the Library. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, that last part was gonna be different, but this is already verging on crack. Anyways, here's what it was going to say:
> 
> " Oh would you look at that! Such a fine display of inter-House cooperation! Fifty points to Gryffindor!!"
> 
> " Sir that's a Ravenclaw helping a Slytherin find a bo-"
> 
> " I said, _Gryffindor_!!"


End file.
